Two Simple Steps To Help You Become the Spiritual Leader In Your Home

Posted on February 4, 2012 by admin

 There are many books, articles, and blogs providing direction on how to become a spiritual leader in your home.  These writings come at this topic from many perspectives and make it evident that the all the efforts to be obedient to God and to emulate His character and the instruction provided to us through His word are valid efforts to becoming a more effective spiritual leader in our home, church and community.  For this blog, I am sharing my experience and one simple tool that I have used to help me in leading my family and believe can help you.

Two men shared with me in the last week that they really want to be the spiritual leader in their family, but don’t know what that looks like or how to move forward.  In both conversations these men had strong wives that had assumed a big role in leading their family and the men were struggling to discover what their role should be, what actions can they take, and how they can compliment the work of their wives.  Recognizing that there are innumerable situations and actions we can discuss, I am offering two simple solutions to start with in your journey to determine what it means for you to lead in your family.

Know where you are going and what you believe.  To this effort I contend that you must have a vision or picture of what success looks like to you and must have nailed down your core beliefs and values to guide you and your family.  Write them down.  Describe the characteristics that you wish to develop and what that will look like in your family.  Write down what you believe regarding the primary relationships we share in life. (God, ourselves – physical, spiritual, and mental, relationship to other people, and material things)  These are the non-negotiable truths and boundaries that you can use to guide decisions for you and your family.  When written down these become a standard or template for making good choices in your day to day life.  How do I regard the authority of Gods word and how does that impact my day to day decisions? What activities do I pursue? What movies do I watch?  Who do I keep as friends?  In my book and other articles on this blog I go into detail of how to develop a vision, mission and core values for your family and encourage you to read these.  Read Deuteronomy 6: 1-9

Put it into practice – Simply put, as the leader of your family, the greatest action you can take is to live these out in front of your family.  Pursue the path toward your vision by making choices in your daily life that follows your core beliefs.  This is the greatest single thing you can do to be an effective leader in your family.  Read Matthew 22: 34 – 40

I visited with one of the two men referred to at the beginning of this article yesterday and was encouraged to share in his excitement to know a couple simple actions he can take to start the journey to being the spiritual leader in his home.  Know where you are going, know what you believe, write it down and put it on your refrigerator for all to see, and put it into practice in your life.  As with Jesus’ instruction that loving God and loving others are the two great commandments and on these two commandments depend the whole law.  Follow these two suggestions and the rest of the characteristics of being a spiritual leader will follow.

 

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Encouragement From Mario Kart

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears"

Yesterday my son showed me how he could compete with people all around the world in a video game.  The game was Mario Kart where each person controls a Kart and races 3 laps around the course.  If you hit “item boxes” that look like spinning boxes along the course you get weapons that you can use to slow down your opponents.  You can be delayed if you go off the course or crash allowing others to pass.  There are no fatal crashes, so if you go off course or crash you may lose your position, but you can complete the course.  During yesterday’s game he played against people from Europe and Japan.  They are ranked by their previous scores and my son was ranked #2 going into the race.  As I watched the race he was winning, but went off the course and went from first to third and then crashed and went from third to fifth.  Each time he jumped back on the course, used the weapons that he gained, and was able to gain ground and finish second.

What impressed me was that in life we also get knocked down, crash and get behind.  If we get back in the race, use all our resources and stay on course we can finish well.  This last week our manufacturing plant was flooded when a drainage pipe collapsed and brought 6″ of water into our warehouse, factory and offices.  I have such high expectations for 2012 and found myself at a low point last week seeing the challenges to regroup and get back on course, take care of all of our customer’s demands and expectations.  As we cleaned up each day was a little better than the last and with much effort from my entire team we were able to be back into full production.  Some of the cleanup will be a distraction and take several weeks, but we are back on course and I continue to have high hopes for a successful 2012.  Amazing how God can communicate and encourage us through the strangest ways if we sit still long enough and are open to hear His voice.  This week I was encouraged by the video Game Mario Kart as I saw the Kart go off course, crash and fall behind only to see with patience and persistence the ground lost was regained to finish the race in the top 2 positions.

It is my prayer that this week you will discover encouragement and hope to stay on course during trials that we all face.  God communicates to us in many ways.  It may not come in the way you expect, but if you seek Him you will find Him and He will deliver you from your fears.

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God Chooses Our Families

Posted on January 8, 2012 by admin

I Corinthians 13:4-7

We choose our friends and we choose our mates, but we do not choose our family.  Many may wish they could choose their family, but God has reserved this choice for himself alone.  When it comes to moms and dads leading their family it is important to recognize the significance of the responsibility we have been given.  We have been chosen by God Himself to provide, nurture, discipline, care for, train and encourage these children.  God has given us all the responsibilities and privileges of developing and leading these children to grow up young men and women.  Considering this, we have an awesome responsibility that deserves consideration as special relationships given to us in God’s providence.  We have included this relationship as one of our families Core Values.

“God chose us to be a family and has given each of us to the other and we are to give special priority to one another.  We will respect the interests and will generously love and support each member of our family.” 

 We expect our kids to recognize this special relationship and give priority to each other.  This means we give a higher respect and place the needs of each other as a greater priority than the needs of our friends or community.  We do this by recognizing and supporting the various interests of each other.  I have three children presently 10, 13, and 14 years old.  They are all very different and have grown up supporting each others varied interests.  My middle son just loves to wander in the woods and the whole family recogizes his need to have us enjoy this with him.  There are many times that we will do what he wants to do that certainly would not be the first choice for the rest.  We may go for a hike in the back woods or drive out to local bird sanctuary.  Once there we all see him come alive with energy and enthusiasm as he bounds through the woods pointing out the sites, insects and animals.

We will generously love and support each other though the good times and the challenging times.  We look to the apostle Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church to guide our definition of love.  Love is patient, love is kind and not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the trugh;  bears all things, believes all things, hops all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.  Admittedly, we do not always live up to this standard, but it clearly describes what love looks like and gives us a pretty high goal to shoot for.  Whether it be baseball tournaments, school productions, gymastic meets, household chores, or just serving each other we seek to love, support and keep the others interests and concerns in our forethought.

If you have not written down your Core Values or Core Beliefs for your family, consider the special relationship and awesome responsibility that God has chosen for you.

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Coach John Wooden Shares The Importance of Family Virtues

Posted on January 3, 2012 by admin

John Wooden Coach of UCLA Bruins 10 NCAA Championships in 12 seasons

John Wooden was one of the greatest collegiate basketball coaches in history.  He led the UCLA Bruins to 10 NCAA championships in 12 years.  John is regarded as a great leader who lived a life guided by timeless wisdom. In all the success that he achieved he never forgot where he came from.  John’s father was a man who recognized the value of living as an example and investing in the instruction of life’s virtues to his son.

John’s father, Joshua Wooden, wrote down a “creed” for John to seek to live to.  A creed is a formal statement of beliefs.  Joshua Wooden recognized the value of putting the beliefs you hold dear to writing and passed them on to John in the form of a simple list on a piece of paper titled “Seven Things To Do”.  This creed was a standard to live to and provided a foundation to guide and ground John’s life.

  1. Be true to yourself.
  2. Help others.
  3. Make each day your masterpiece.
  4. Drink deeply from good books, especially the Bible.
  5. Make friendship a fine art.
  6. Build a shelter against a rainy day.
  7. Pray for guidance and count and give thanks for your blessings every day.

The culture we live seeks to capture our hearts and is sure to provide an ever changing standard of what we should believe in.  As parents it is our responsibility to pass on the virtues that we hold dear to our children.  It is not the responsibility of the school, culture, or even the church.  This is squarely the responsibility of the parents and particularly the responsibility of the father if possible.  Before The Harvard Business Review highlighted a common characteristic of top performing lasting great companies as those that put to writing and followed a set of core values there were families who led by example and made it a priority to pass on their virtues to their children.

Take the time to think about the values that you hold dear and wish to provide as a legacy to your children.  Write them down.  Seek to model and live up to the standards that you set and teach them to your children.  Even if your children are grown it is never too late to share what you have learned and wish for them to know.

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Giving the Perfect Christmas Gift

Posted on December 14, 2011 by admin

Giving the Perfect Christmas Gift

I am writing to the husbands and fathers who, like me, find it easy to let our wives shop for the kids Christmas gifts and are quick to pick up a gift card or buy off the list provided for our wives.  There have been too many Christmas mornings that I am just as surprised as the kids to see what Dad got them for Christmas.  While this may be the path of least resistance and an easy way to check Christmas gifts off the list, we are the ones who miss out the most.  We are the ones who miss out on the joy of watching those we love the most receive a gift.  We are the one that miss planning and searching for that unique gift that expresses our love and allows us to experience the true joy of giving.

So, how do you find that “perfect gift”?  I will steal a line from my Pastor that describes
the perfect gift as one that.

  1. Meets the need of the one who receives the gift.
  2. Expresses the personality of the one who gives the gift.

How many of you have had their father ask for a shirt or tie?  I contend that almost anything that I can think of is more fun than giving my dad a tie.  A great gift is also a gift that the person would not buy for themselves.  Over the years I have enjoyed giving my mother and father a balloon ride, my wife a wetsuit, going to the skate shop after Christmas with my son to build a skateboard and buying a matching one for me so I can enjoy my second childhood at the local skatepark with him.  Since it is before Christmas I don’t want to spoil the gift I have for my daughter this year, but I am very excited to see the finished product and can’t wait for her to receive it and my love for her.

Don’t miss the opportunity to make a memorable Christmas for you and for the ones you love.  Don’t miss the chance to receive the joy of giving.  Don’t miss the chance to express your personality and meet a need of the one you love.  So, go ahead think of something special they would not buy for themselves and splurge on a fun gift.

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Year End Giving

Posted on November 27, 2011 by admin

2 Corinthians 9:7 Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

As we approach the year end it is a good time to make sure that we have completed our commitments and considered opportunities to make a difference.  In prior years we have not included our kids in our decision and feel that we have missed out on teaching and modeling giving.  There are several considerations in making a gift.

1.  Prioritize the church where you attend as number 1 and complete your tithe first.

  1. 2.  Find a charity that you connect with personally. It may be a ministry that impacted you or an experience with a hospital, education institution or other mission that you are excited to support.

3.  Support charities that have a record of good financial stewardship with the gift.  Most charities will publish their overhead expenses as a percentage of total contributions.  Generally look for those whose overhead expenses are less than 20% or >80% goes directly to the specific mission of the charity.  You can find Top Rated Charities at The American Institute of Philanthropy http://www.charitywatch.org/toprated.html

4.  Compliment your financial giving with the gift of your time.  Direct involvement keeps the connection and allows you to directly experience the results of your financial giving.

5.  Involve your children early so that they get to see giving modeled, but also participate in the joy of giving

This year we are considering Compassion International.  www.compassion.com  This afternoon we watched the video as a family and let each of our children review the pictures of other kids in need.  My middle son found one 3 year old in Haiti that he decided that he would like to sponsor.  I am excited to participate with him and encourage him to write and follow this child as he grows.  We have also supported Christian Family camps where we have attended as Christian camping was very influential in my life.  As a Rotarian, I also have enjoyed the connection with supporting Rotary International.  There are thousands of fantastic ministries and charitable causes that we can support.  As you seek to lead your family in a legacy of giving involve the whole family, check out the financial accountability, follow your heart, and compliment your financial giving with your time.

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Family Thanksgiving Activity

Posted on November 20, 2011 by admin

Ephesians 3:14 - 19

Next week is Thanksgiving and I thought I would share an activity that you and your family can share over the holiday.  This was provided in the bulletin of our church this Sunday and I thought other families may enjoy.

On Thanksgiving Day…

As you gather around the table with friends and family, spend a few moments focused on your blessings and express your gratitude to God for them.

Read: 

Ephesians 5:20 “…always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father.”

Philippians 4:6-8 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”

Share:

Share a couple of things you are grateful for this Thanksgiving.

Pray:

“Dear God, we thank You for Your many blessings this year – for our family, our friends and Your provision.  We set aside this day, especially, to give thanks to You.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”

May you and your family know and experience the great love that God has for you this holiday! – Jeff

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Be Careful Little Eyes What You See…Truth Is True No Matter Your Age

Posted on November 13, 2011 by admin

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it

As parents we seek to protect the innocence of our children, but what actions are you taking to protect your eyes, your ears, your mind, and your heart?  When we think we are above temptation is when we are the most vulnerable.  Take a moment to read this

familiar nursery rhyme  Think about your responsibility to protect your children.  Think about the greater responsibility you have to protect your own heart and mind from being captured by what the world seeks to entice you with through your eyes, ears, hands, and feet.

Oh, be careful little ears, what you hear (repeat)
For the Father Up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little ears
what you hear.

(VS 2) Oh, be careful little eyes, what you see, (repeat)
For the Father up above,
is looking down in love,
So be careful little eyes
What you see.

(VS 3) Oh, be careful little mouth, what you say, (repeat),
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little
mouth what you say.

(VS 4) Oh, be careful little hands, what you do (repeat),
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little hands
What you do

(VS 5) Oh, be careful little feet where you go (repeat)
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little feet,
Where you go.

(VS 6) Oh, be careful little mind what you think (repeat)
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little mind,
What you think.

(VS 7) Oh, be careful little heart what you love (repeat)
For the Father up above,
Is looking down in love,
So be careful little heart,
What you love.

Truth is true no matter your age.  Watch this video by Casting Crowns.

Colossians 2:8  See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ.” 

Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”

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Parents: The Goal of Our Instruction is Love

Posted on November 6, 2011 by admin

I Timothy 1:5 "the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith."

As your Dad or Mom…

I can share with you life, but I cannot live it for you.

I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.

I can give you directions, but I cannot always be there to lead you.

I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.

I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.

I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.

I can buy you nice clothes, but I cannot make you lovely inside.

I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.

I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.

I can teach you to be a friend, but I cannot make you one.

I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.

I can teach you to respect, but I cannot force you to honor.

I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you.

I can teach you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.

I can tell you about the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.

I can tell you about drinking and drugs, but I cannot say no for you.

I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.

I can let you work, but I cannot make you responsible.

I can teach you to obey, but I cannot answer for your actions.

I can teach you kindness, but I cannot force you to be gracious.

I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make your morals.

I can love you as my child, but I cannot place you in God’s family.

I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.

I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Him your Savior.

I can show you faith, but I cannot make you trust in Christ.

I can teach you about prayer, but I cannot make you pray.

I can tell you how to live, but I cannot give you Eternal Life.

I can, and will, love you…forever.

When we have done our best to give instruction in the lives of our kids or in our workplace and it is time to let them go and make independent choices,  I love the simple assurance of Paul to his disciple Timothy as he goes out into a world of false teaching and confusion.  Paul’s instruction to Timothy simply says that the goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.  We teach, model, instruct, correct and send.  Remember the most important thing is love and pray that the Holy Spirit will move to reveal truth.

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Community Service: Learn New Skills, Help Neighbors, Build Character

Posted on October 30, 2011 by admin

Teaching Skills, Serving the Community, Building Character

I received an email from a friend this week looking for a hand with helping a local Houston church in need of repairs to maintain insurance coverage.  I extended the invitation to my family and to those at my company and we had 18 show up Saturday morning.

We invested 4 hours at Johnson Chapel in Northeast Houston and gained a memory for a lifetime.  We created memories of service to the community, a memory of learning about construction and repairs, and a memory of working together.  To be honest none of us were looking forward to getting up early Saturday morning for a service project.  My two sons have little to no construction experience and were anxious about their lack of ability to contribute.  My sons had the opportunity to work shoulder to shoulder with other men and learn to use
tools to pull nails, cut out rotten wood, replace wooden siding, how to use a nail gun, and how to caulk joints.  Tearing out the rotten wood opened up the structure of the building and allowed them to get a first hand view of how to build a building.

Dads, we work hard during the week and find it so easy to pass up service opportunities when an extra hour of sleep is so valuable.  Dads, it is our job to lead the charge to build character into our kids.  Character to get up early in the morning when everything is crying out for more sleep.  Character to say yes to invitations for service so that it is not just a one-time event, but building a pattern and priority of service.  Character to work side by side by other men and learn new skills, and character to work hard and expect nothing in return.

The best way to build the right stuff into your kids is to get out there and do it with them.  When we got home my younger son, Ben, told my wife it was not as bad as he was
expecting and actually enjoyed doing the work and felt valued because he could
fit in the tight spots the men could not get into.  My other son Drew was tasked to take some photos and create a video.  Check it out.  Remember the words of Christ.

Luke 12:48 “…From everyone who has been given much, much will be required…”

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