The 20 Rules Of This House

Posted on June 26, 2011 by admin

Deuteronomy 6:9 "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates"

A common theme to the most successful businesses and organizations is the use of Vision, Mission, and Core Values to guide the organization.  In Good to Great Families, I apply these proven business techniques to leading our families.   I also enjoy reading other business and family values, rules, or boundaries that are used to lead and provide boundaries for their business or family.  We have our family Core Values posted on the refrigerator for reference when making choices or using for instruction.  These are great tools to use and leaves no question as to how we are supposed to operate.  I prefer to keep the list to less than 10, but the important point is to create something that works for you and your family.  I don’t know the family that wrote the following list, but I thought I would share it with you. 

In this house…

  1. We obey our Lord Jesus Christ.
  2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
  3. We tell the truth.
  4. We consider one another’s interests ahead of our own.
  5. We speak quietly and respectfully to one another.
  6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
  7. When someone needs correction, we correct him with love.
  8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
  9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
  10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
  11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
  12. When we have work to do, WE DO IT WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
  13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
  14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
  15. When we open something, we close it.
  16. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
  17. When we take something out, we put it up.
  18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
  19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
  20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.

What a great tool to have around as a constant reminder and encouragement for our family.  God gave Moses the ten commandments to instruct His people with the promise that if they listen and followed they would be blessed.  He also encouraged families to diligently teach their children and write them on the doorposts of their homes.

Deuteronomy 6:7-9 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

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What Makes You Cry? Understanding the Invitation to a Life of Satisfying Purpose

Posted on June 19, 2011 by admin

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

What are the things that pull at your heart strings and move you emotionally to tears?  Pay attention for these emotions remind us of personal experiences that have deeply impacted our life and/or may reveal God given passions that bring life’s greatest fulfillment or satisfaction.  Each Sunday as I watch men, women, children and families respond to God’s Holy Spirit I am moved with tears of joy knowing that a life has been changed.  Without knowing the people, their circumstances, or story I know I have witnessed God move in a life to reveal His great love, mercy, and calling on their life to realize the miraculous life change coming as a result of responding to Him. 

I am also moved to see someone testify by public baptism to the life change they personally experienced through the blood sacrifice of Jesus.  To see a young man who turns from the selfish path of destruction to accept the Father’s forgiveness and grace is a powerful event.  I celebrate to see a man lead his family to join the church and make a statement to his family and the community that he is choosing to lead his family by the truths of Jesus.  To see a young child respond to the calling of the Holy Spirit or know the joy that a parent shares in seeing their child choose to testify to their saving grace by their public baptism.  Celebrate with me the changed lives and kids testimony through public baptism at our church beach retreat.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEbyVubKZk4

What makes you cry? 

  • Recognize the value of this emotion and how it identifies the passions in your life. 
  • Consider responding and explore the opportunity to develop this passion in your life.   
  • Pray for God to reveal how you can follow this passion to serve Him and help others. 
  • Surrender and follow God.

Mathew 9:9  As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

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The Power of A Testimony

Posted on June 15, 2011 by admin

Revelation 12:11 They triumphed over him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony

As believers, moms, dads, professionals, and business people we are challenged to be salt and light in our community.  We shine best in dark places and are ambassadors for Christ in the communities that we live.  Julie and I seek to build our marriage and family on I Peter 2:5 “5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”  We are to be living stones, like the stones placed by Joshua to testify to the great things God has done for the Israelites when rescuing the Jews.

Every day we encounter people and circumstances that provide opportunities to participate in the work that God is doing by sharing the great works that God is doing in our lives.  In my business, I often have the opportunity to share the story of how I came to the plastics manufacturing industry.  In 2002 I was in between jobs and earnestly seeking to be obedient to Gods call in my vocation.  I had a number of opportunities that seemed to be a good fit, but for a variety of reasons did not have peace with them.  I decided to join the plastics manufacturing business.  Many of my friends said I was crazy to go into manufacturing and particularly plastics manufacturing.  The opportunity fit exactly the 5 criteria that I was looking for and I had a peace that God would provide.  (5 Criteria: meaningful relationships, control, entrepreneurial, an adventure to live, challenge to conquer)  Recall that Joshua asked the Jews to march around Jericho 7 times saying that God would deliver the city.  I am certain many thought Joshua was crazy, but obedience brings blessings.  We were trying to revive a historic company that had lost it major customer of 30 years and desperately needed to rebuild the business.  We were in the midst of a recession and business was very competitive.  Believing that God would provide for our needs and being obedient to His call what happened next was nothing short of miraculous.  Within 90 days we were flooded with new business from a number of new customers.  We were cranking up the machines and hiring people.  In all my career I have never seen anything like it.  In my sales and business development career it was not uncommon to have a pipeline of several opportunities that could impact the business and if we had 10 opportunities winning 2 or 3 was a home run.  In this situation we collected 10 impactful opportunities and they all fell.  May God be glorified!  I have the opportunity to share this story as part of our regular business conversation routinely.  Testifying to the things God is doing in your life should be a natural part of your conversation and is a powerful encouragement to those that hear.  The power of telling of your personal encounter with God and His blessing on your life is the most natural, genuine, and impactful way to share your faith with others.

Sharing your testimony encourages and inspires others to recognize God’s work in their life and be encouraged by your words.  Seek God daily and pray for Him to make Himself known to you.  I promise you that He will show up and He will do great things in your life that you can share with others and testify to his great truth and love.  Take a moment now to remember and reflect on the great things God has done in your life.  Share these with your friends, family, co-workers and others that you cross paths in your daily activities.  Ask God to make Himself known to you today and do a great work in your life.

Revelation 12:11 tells of the destruction of the dragon, Satan, that was accomplished through the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony

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Saying Goodbye To A Family Pet

Posted on June 5, 2011 by admin

Mason, Our Pet Rabbit

Friday was a rough day.  I woke up at 3:00 a.m. with my left eye on fire and watering like a fountain.  I made it through the night and was waiting at the Doctors office when they opened.  I had a small piece of fiberglass lodged in my eyelid that worked over my eye during the night.  The Doctor removed it and I was late to work on Friday.  I struggled through the day with lingering pain so that I could attend the funeral of one of our employees of 52 years.  By the time I got home all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to bed.  It was my wife’s birthday and we planned to take her out for dinner.  I certainly was not much fun at dinner and promptly climbed into bed when we returned home.  Could it possibly get worse?  Sound asleep, I was awoken with crying and distress by the family telling me that Mason, our pet rabbit had died. 

Saturday morning we prepared a proper burial for our pet Mason.  The death of a family pet is a significant event in the life of a child.  In many cases it is the first time they have experienced death and mourning for the loss is a new emotion.  I had to think about what to say and how to use this experience to bring the family together and teach of God’s love for us.  The following are some of my thoughts and our experience in saying goodbye to our beloved pet, Mason.

Things to consider:

  1. Be sensitive – Crying and grieving over the loss is natural and is a natural reaction.  It is OK to be sad.  Some are more affected than others and it is important that we recognize their feelings and emotions.  We can comfort each other and support each other in the loss.  
  2. Talk about the experience – We talked about the good memories that we had with Mason and reminded each other of the stories of Mason as the runt of the litter that was irresitable, swimming in the pool, and playing chase in the yard. 
  3. Have a ceremony – We have lost other pets such as fish or birds that did not get the respectful burial.  Mason was different and burial was the right thing.  Pick a nice spot where you can remember your pet and you may even want to mark the grave in remembrance.  The act of preparing the grave and burial gives us a visible and final event to say goodbye and bring closure to the event.  
  4. Turn our attention to God – Genesis 2:19 tells us that God created all the animals.  God blesses us with good things including our pets that we learn to care for, love and enjoy.  We said a prayer of thanksgiving for Mason and prayed that we would treasure every life given to us, and asked God to comfort us in our loss.

The last word.  It is OK to have two birthday celebrations for your wife.  We will be celebrating my wife’s birthday again with family on Sunday as the chaos subsided and we can enjoy and celebrate the great blessing she is to us.

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When Do You Push Your Kids in Sports, Music, Activities and How Do You Build In The Right Stuff?

Posted on May 30, 2011 by admin

Pitching for the Hooks

Our oldest son is 14 years old and has been playing baseball since he was 5.  He has good physical size and abilities, good coaching, and has been one of the best players in the league.  He will be going to a private High School next year that is known for their baseball program and will have the opportunity to play at a high level, receive excellent coaching and preparation for college or the next level of baseball.  However, he lacks the “fire in the belly” that will be required to compete and succeed at this level.  Do we push him and simply tell him he has worked so hard and is going to play?  Do we let him take a break and try another activity or let him just stay at home?  This situation is all too common for many parents.

The first thing we must recognize is it is not about us.  We must remove our self centered motives from our decisions.  My goal is not to raise a great baseball player so that I can revel in his success, but to raise a great man that follows the truth of Jesus Christ and makes a real difference in the lives of others as he pursues his talents and experiences true joy from living the life that God created him to live.

 Each individual child and each circumstance is unique and there is a no “one size fits all” option that is correct for the development of your child.  Our responsibility as a parent is to build in the right stuff in our kids.  We are to identify character deficiencies that we can seek opportunities to work on with our children.  Academics, sports, scouts, and other of life’s activities and experiences provide a great platform for teaching and coaching these character traits into our kids.  These teaching moments are not observed from a far and delivered with authoritative direction, but should be cultivated through quality time together.  It is our privilege to develop character in our kids and that privilege must be earned by investing time in walking through life’s activities together.  Earlier in our sons athletic career he decided to join the cross country team.  Little did he know that he was not built to run and quickly decided he wanted to quit.  This was a great opportunity to teach him that his best was good enough and he needed to finish what he started. I am proud to report that he did not win any races, but he did his best and was pleased to finish what he started.

 We finished the baseball season and have discussed the bigger picture regarding the investment he has made in the sport and the opportunity that he has before him in High School.  He may need a break to realize his freedom and regain a love for the game.  He could still return another year, but will face competition to join the team.  The character trait in this decision may not be directed at him, but watching how we, his parents, react to his decision, passions and desires.  For our son, in this situation, this will be his decision and we will support him in whatever he chooses to pursue. 

 So as you face choices as a parent regarding your individual child and how to build in the right stuff consider the following. 

  1.  Lift up your children in prayer every day
  2. Remove self centered motives from your role in developing character
  3. Identify character traits that need to be developed and look for the life experiences to train and coach
  4. Spend quality time so that you have earned the privilege to build in the right stuff at the right moment.

If you are reading this blog, I can assume that you are a good parent and trying to do your best.  The only thing that I would add is to not “over think” the situation.  Not every situation needs to be elevated by the parent to develop a character trait as many times the best teachers are natural consequences to choice our kids make.

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Always Speak With Grace

Posted on May 22, 2011 by admin

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you willl know how you should respond to each person.

Paul challenges us in Colossians 4:6 to “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt…”.  Much easier said than done.  In most of our interactions, our speech delivers a real time reflection of what is going on in our mind that is strongly influenced by emotions.  James says the tongue can set on fire the course of our life.  Scary!  The work place and the challenges raising three children often puts me in the fire.  It is in these times that speaking with grace requires discipline and it is in these situations that I far too often fail and regret the words that come out.  I have said many things to my boss, my co-workers, and my family that I wish I could reel back in.  The shame and consequences from these poor choices continue to drive me back to Christ who heals and supplies abundant grace.

When Paul refers to speaking with grace as though seasoned with salt, what does he mean?   Salt preserves.  Salt cleans.  Salt enhances the flavor. Salt purifies.  Speaking with grace does not tear another down, but preserves relationships and builds others up.  Speaking with grace softens words and enhances the impact on those we are speaking to.  Speaking in grace does not condemn another or put them on the defensive.  When those you are speaking to are not trying to defend their position or withhold information, truth is revealed.  Paul goes on to say the results of speaking with grace is that we will know how to respond to each person.  When truth is revealed and defenses are down we are in a much better position to know how to respond.

How many times have you walked into a situation that you know an offense has occurred?  Many times I have arrived following a conflict between children leaving one hurt or crying or learn of a situation at work that appears that one employee bears the fault.  Unfortunately for all, I often jump to conclusions early and react in discipline to later learn that I did not know the whole story and may have over reacted or reacted in the wrong way.  There are always two sides to every story.  Every time, when I speak and react in a spirit of grace and show concern for the individuals where I can learn the whole story, I can bring reconciliation or appropriate discipline that builds up my kids or employees.

How do we do this?  Paul answered this in Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth”.  When we set our mind on things above and live in the saving grace provided by Christ, our minds will be saturated with this amazing grace and save us from ourselves.  So let your speech always be with grace.

p.s.  There is so much rich encouragement for believers in Colossians.  Take the time to read Colossians and savor the wise instruction that, when followed, will richly bless others and draw others to Christ.

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Relationships: The Only Thing That Really Matters

Posted on May 15, 2011 by admin

Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."

This weekend Julie and I briefly stepped out of the rat race to realize that we have been married for 17 years and have a child that will be in high school.  It was a typical Saturday in May and we were all at a swim meet from 7:00 a.m. to 12:30, our daughter had gymastics from 12:00-4:00, and Julie and I hoped to catch a 4:40 movie and dinner to celebrate our anniversary.  Racing to get everyone at their places we arrived at the movie at 4:50 thinking we just missed the previews to find that the movie was sold out.  Thanks to the internet and Blackberry we came up plan “B” and raced to another theatre where we caught a 5:30 show and then dinner at one of our favorite places, Goode Company Seafood. 

Reflecting on how fast 17 years have passed and the fact that our children are quickly growing up we talked about the things we most value in our lives.  We live a very full, exciting, and sometimes challenging life.  Julie and I are in agreement that God’s most valuable gift of life is the relationships we share.  Our life is not about the things we collect, but the memories and moments that we share with those we love.  In today’s world in a city the size of Houston Texas the relationships we enjoy are rare.  God blessed us with grandparents that lived into their mid-90’s, lived nearby, and got to know and love our children.  We have parents that live within a mile and we see many time a week.  My sister, husband, and 3 children also live nearby and our combined 6 children all go to the same K-12 school where they see each other every day.  We have a community of friends that we grew up with and find ourselves 30 year later cheering our kids who now play together as we did on baseball, basketball, and soccer teams. 

Celebrating our anniversary was to celebrate the relationships that God has blessed us with and re-dedicating ourselves to treasure these relationships by intentionally creating memories and planning experiences to share life together.  These do not have to be exotic vacations, but simple events.  This past Friday night my son Ben and I went on a 30 minute expedition to discover the prey of 20 vultures flying over and gathering in the field.  Today, my daughter Summer and I went in the woods to pick dew berries together.  This week my oldest son Drew and I shopped for a coat and tie for his 8th grade dance.  These are the moments that we will treasure and these are the experiences that build life’s greatest relationships.  I am so thankful for my wife of 17 years, our children, our extended family, and the many co-workers and friends that God has blessed us with.  My prayer is that you also will recognize that life is fleeting and it is the relationships that God gives us that are to be most treasured.  Celebrate these special people and be intentional to make the most of the small moments and greater planned events together.

Ecclesiastes 9:9  “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.”

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Family Activity: How to Teach Your Children to Treasure God’s Word

Posted on May 1, 2011 by admin

Psalm 119:11 "Your Word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against you."

One of our greatest privileges is to introduce and teach our children to treasure God’s word.  We all enjoy a good mystery or lost treasure story.  For centuries people have told stories of buried treasures, lost mines, and sunken treasure ships.  Many books and movies have glamorized and fantasized about the mystery and adventure of finding a lost treasure.  Indiana Jones was the hero of my youth pursuing lost antiquities including the ark of the covenant in Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Occasionally someone actually finds a lost treasure that sparks the adventurer in us such as finding King Tutankhamun’s tomb or the find of the Black Swan treasure ship that fuels our dreams and imagination. 

To help illustrate the value of God’s word I thought it would be fun to make up a treasure hunt of my own.  We have a very old and large oak tree that sits by a creek near our home.   The oak tree was often a destination for hikes, rope swings, and tree climbing adventures.  I thought it would be fun to plant a story that there was a legend of a lost treasure that was buried around this tree.  We told a story of a Texan that made off with a load of gold coins from Santa Anna’s army in 1836 around the time of the battle of San Jacinto.  The legend goes that the Texans buried the treasure near an oak tree in this area and it had never been found.  I built up the story for a year or so as we visited this spot and we named the big oak tree the “Treasure Tree” and still call it that to this day.  I purchased an old wooden box from Hobby Lobby and filled it with coins, mardi gras beads, and put a bible on top.  I closed the box and buried it a few paces from the tree.  I put a treasure map in an old clear glass bottle with a cork and buried it along the trail with just a piece of the bottle exposed.  We arranged for a Sunday afternoon walk in the woods where we often look for deer sheds, bones, and other surprises.  As we walked by I pointed out the glass and began to uncover the bottle.  What a thrill to find the bottle contained a treasure map and note of a great treasure saved for centuries for us to find.  The excitement of the possibility that it was a real treasure map was crazy.  We headed back to the house to get a shovel to begin our expedition.  We followed the map to the creek and identified a couple landmarks including the Treasure Tree.  Marked 15 paces due west of the Treasure Tree we began to turn the dirt to see if we could find the treasure.  To the kids amazement the shovel hit a hard object that when exposed could be identified as a wooden box with brass shackles.  A flurry of activity and excitement followed as we pulled the box from the ground and surveyed the prospect for real treasure.  We opened the box to see fake gold coins, mardi gras beads, a note from Dad, and a Bible in the center.   To be honest I received a mixed reaction of wonder and disappointment as they realized the hoax, but thoroughly enjoyed the adventure.  I read a brief note of my love for them and my desire to teach them of the greatest treasure that God has for us.  I included the verse Psalms 119:9 that asks the question “How can a young man keep his way pure?” and in vs. 11 it says “Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You.” You might also want to use the verse in Matthew 13:44 “The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.” 

It is our privilege to teach our kids to see the treasure we have in God’s word.  Although our lives and daily actions are the way to model and teach our kids to treasure God’s word, this is a fun activity to illustrate and create a memory they will never forget.  You don’t have to wait a year or go to the extent that I did in dreaming up this activity.  You could simply plan an afternoon adventure to a park, friends farm, beach, or other good hiding place that takes a little time and creativity to set up, but will be great fun and teach a great lesson to treasure God’s word.  So, make it a fun adventure and teach your kids how to treasure God’s word in their hearts.  In looking for a photo for this blog, I found a place that may make it easy to set up your next adventure that sells a treasure chest and glass bottle.  http://www.oceangramstore.com/Product_TChestOG.htm

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A Fun Day of Learning and Adventure with Your Kids

Posted on April 23, 2011 by admin

Proverbs 22:6 Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.

Looking for something fun to do on a boring day?  For those who have science minded kids an $8 investment in dry ice can provide a full day of fun and learning.  Along the way our kids have found the YouTube channel of Steve Spangler.  Steve has made a great business of conducting simple science experiments that are educational and fun to watch.  YouTube has been an inspiration for lots of fun do-it-yourself toys and experiments.  My kids have learned how to make carbonated ice, make square bubbles, remove egg shells, and build a potato cannon that I have also found quite impressive and, pardon the pun, but a blast to shoot.  Last summer my middle son asked if I could pick up some dry ice.  What followed was a day full of experiments and fun for $8. 

Check out the following video for a few of the samples by Steve Spangler http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aFLYNiHitI    Dry ice is -110 degrees F and can be dangerous so it’s a good excuse to spend the day supevising the experiments, having fun, and building memories with your kids.

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Doctrine of Cessation and Doctrine of Prosperity

Posted on April 17, 2011 by admin

I Corinthians 12:31 “But earnestly desire the greater gifts”

I am meeting with four other men weekly to discuss I Corinthians 12: 31 “But earnestly desire the greater gifts”.  We are seeking to understand that which Paul commands us to eagerly desire the greater gifts.  The spiritual gifts are listed in I Corinthians 12: 1-12 and include the spiritual gifts of wisdom, knowledge, faith, healing, miracles, prophecy, distinguishing of spirits, tongues, and interpretation of tongues.

This week we discussed a sensitive topic that is dividing the Christian church.  On one side we have part of the Christian Church following a doctrine of cessation.  The doctrine of cessation says that the spiritual gifts died with the apostles following the completion of the Canon of scripture. The other side is the doctrine of prosperity or the “health and wealth” gospel followed by millions that teaches God provides health and material prosperity for those He favors.  There are many scriptures that are used to support each side and many arguments for both sides that I am not qualified to unpack, but you can find many articles for both sides.  For further reading see:  A Better Argument for Cessation or Spiritual Gifts and Church History  In the spirit of writing brief blogs, I will share a couple of our comments to serve as food for thought and a conclusion that I hope we all can agree upon as we continue to grow in knowledge and understanding of our God.

Comments from our discussion:

  1. We viewed YouTube videos of church leaders using sermons from other church leaders as examples of false doctrine.  It is a dangerous practice for Pastors and Leaders of the Church to publicly denounce another church leader and brother in Christ.  Not that it should never happen, but we must be very careful.
  2. In many areas of life men take positions on both extremes of the spectrum.  We all seek the truth and have seen evidence of truth at both ends of the spectrum.  How can we deny the cessation of tongues, prophecy, and knowledge when these gifts and others are still evident in others praising God throughout the world?
  3. As fathers of young children we see the bigger picture, allow natural consequences of sin, discipline out of love, and with hold privilege because we have a greater understanding and a higher purpose for our children.  Our children may not understand, but accept our authority when completed in a spirit of consistency and love.  As “children of God” would it not be plausible that God allows us to be pruned or refined in the fire so that we can be used for a greater purpose and not because we do not have the faith to claim it so?

Conclusion:   I recognize that there are many strong opinions on this topic.  In conclusion, I find agreement with the comments of Dr. Ed Young.

  • In the ESSENTIALS (Basic tenants of the Church) there must be Unity
  • In the NON-ESSENTIALS there must be Liberty
  • In ALL THINGS there must be Love.

When we come together, we stand as a light that testifies to God’s greatness, diversity, and love.  Check out Dance Your Shoes off  YouTube video where Second Baptist Church celebrates the King of Glory and the gift of Easter that all Christians share.

It is a privilege and joy to work out and share some of my thoughts each week and to know that many are reading and sharing in this journey.

P.S. Update in 2025. I noticed this article was often accessed and decided to go back and read it.  As an update on my journey, during the last 14 years I see too much evidence in the Scripture and in life to deny the continuation of the gifts of the Spirit and find Sam Storms as a helpful mentor. 

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