You Are Building Your Legacy Everyday

Posted on July 30, 2011 by admin

Building Family Memories

What is the legacy that you wish to leave your children?  Is it a good education, a nice home, a good work ethic, a prestigious name, money, or something else?  Have you ever thought to consider the legacy you are building for your children?  There are many legacies that you can leave, but the most powerful and influential will be the accumulated experiences you share together and memories of how you lived your life.  Reflecting on your life and legacy you are building for your children will keep you grounded and is a thought that sometimes scares me.  What am I teaching my kids by leaving our home to exercise at 5:00 a.m. and not returning from work until 6:30 – 7:00 p.m.?  What does that teach them about what is most important to me?  Our kids watch everything we do and in many cases will model or pick up our habits both good and bad.  How many have justified their dedicated pursuit of career success saying that they wanted to provide good things to their families.  How many dads work all week and feel they need to be rewarded by playing golf on Saturday or Sunday leaving the family to their own activities.  Our careers, our debts, our homes, our hobbies, our service activities, and our selfish desires all compete with our family for our attention and affection.  God has given us a very brief period in time to raise our children.  What we do with our time will absolutely set the course for their lives and communicate what is of highest importance to us. 

 What do you want to your kids to think of when they remember you?  Think about where you spend your time and where you spend your money.  As the leaders of our family where we invest our time and money is the foundation of the legacy that we are leaving our children.  For me the most valuable treasures that I can leave our children is lasting family memories.  Memories that are created through daily interaction, focused time, or family vacations.  When my kids were in the 3 to 7 year range Thursday night was “dad night”.  I would do simple activities that lasted 30 minutes to an hour with each of our three children and rotated each week.  We went out for frozen yogurt, a bike ride, roller skating, or Funny Face Pancakes at the I-Hop.  It didn’t really matter what we did, but it was one on one time that each kid got with dad.  We lived in our home for 15 years and still had a plastic slide in our dining room.  Each year we made decisions as to where we were going to spend our money.  Dining room furniture…or…family trip to Disney?  Dining room furniture…or…teach our kids to snow ski in Colorado?  In my book Good to Great Families I ask the reader to list all the adventures, major milestones to celebrate, and memories to create with their family.  Then create a list of years that your kids are in your home and begin to fill in the schedule.  It’s amazing how quickly you fill up the time when planning with a limited budget and limited time.  This simple exercise can help guide your plans to create a legacy of memories and experiences and reveal how short the time we have. 

So, what is the legacy you are leaving with your children?  Don’t put it off and wait until tomorrow to begin creating your legacy.  Make your time reflect the priorities that are truly important to you.  Spend your money on the things that reflect the priorities of your heart.  In the end your family, friends, co-workers and employees will recognize and respect your choices and commitment to the things you hold dear.  There is nothing wrong with working hard and pursuing the rewards that you can share with your family, but remember what they value most is time with you.  Take a moment and think about the legacy you are building.  Make a list of things you want to be remembered for, the adventures you want to share and memories to create, go and create your legacy!

p.s.  I would love to hear from you regarding this or any other post. 

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The Light of the World that Darkness Cannot Overcome

Posted on July 17, 2011 by admin
 

John 1:4 In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men

 

Light is used throughout the Bible to illustrate the characteristics of God and symbolize truth.  Light is used to contrast darkness or evil.  It is used to guide His chosen people and inspire us to become as lights.  In John:1-9, John the Baptist describes Jesus as the “light of all mankind” and as the light shining in the darkness that the darkness does not overcome.  In John 12:46 Jesus says of Himself “I have come as Light into the world, so that everyone who believes in Me will not remain in darkness.”

What is most amazing is that in Matthew 5:14 Jesus tells us as His disciples that “You are the light of the world.”  We, as His disciples, become the representation of the light God and Jesus in the world that we operate.  We are His ambassador and representative to shine in the darkness.  It is we that are charged to work by the power of the Holy Spirit to illuminate the hearts and minds of men.  It is we that, by representing Truth, become the light to the world that overcomes darkness and glorifies our Father in heaven.  We(you and me) are charged to continue the very work of Jesus. 

What a powerful charge and  a w e s o m e  responsibility!  As a follower of Jesus do you recognize the power of the light within you?  When you enter a room, Jesus is there.  When you make contact with a friend or stranger, Jesus is there.  When you pray for the sick, call out evil, or teach of His Truth, Jesus is in you and with you.  If this realization does not inspire you to be a better father, mother, friend, boss, employee, servant or leader nothing will.  Think about the contacts, relationships and opportunities that you have to be light in your family, community or workplace.  Jesus tells his disciples

John 10:7-8 “And as you go, preach, saying, ”The kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons.  Freely you received, freely give.”   

I am reminded of the WWJD bracelets of years ago and am challenged again to think on What Would Jesus Do because that is EXACTLY what He charges us to do as followers of Him.  Jesus says in Matthew 28:18  “All authority has been given to Me in Heaven and on earth.  Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations”.  ALL AUTHORITY is given to Jesus and Jesus commands us as His disciple to go, preach, heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers and cast out demons. 

 If we live to be obedient this command given with “all authority”, how does it change your life?  How does it change your actions as a leader in your family or business?  How does it change your actions as you relate to friends and strangers? 

 May the Light and Love of Christ go with you always.

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Small Adventures To Create Lasting Family Memories

Posted on July 4, 2011 by admin

Teaching Kids To Try New Things

Have you ever been pulled in by one of the mall kiosk vendors to try some miracle product?  Normally I would simply walk past the invitations without eye contact.  However this time I was engaged by Rico, the kiosk salesman offering to heal all my pains.  I couldn’t resist, I stopped and he promptly put an electronic massager on my shoulders and asked me if I had a sore back or other injuries.  According to Rico, this massager could heal anything.  I told him 3 times I was not going to buy the product and before I could escape he cut the price in half and added in a second unit for free and I was hustled  for a gimmicky product that I did not need.  

I have an interest in small businesses and during my visit asked about the kiosk lease, sales, margins, staffing, and challenges to reel in customers.  There was a time I encouraged Drew to practice his street magic at the mall for tips and suggested that Rico add a street magician or have my other son Ben bring his sugar glider come help draw in and hustle mall shoppers.  So with Rico’s invitation and offer to teach my boys the finer art of capturing and hustling mall shoppers Drew packed up his magic, Ben put his sugar glider in his pocket and we were off to the mall.  I don’t know that either Drew or Ben would have done this solo, but as a team they could overcome their nervousness and anxiety of this new experience.  I promised we would not stay more than an hour and that if it was a bomb we could leave early.  So what happened?

Jasper Goes to the Mall

The sugar glider was a hit with the mall shoppers until he glided to the floor and scampered across the mall causing brief terror for those who thought they were watching a rat run at them.  Both men and women screamed and hid for cover in the nearby Express store.  I would have never imagined the scene of a grown man cowering in terror over such a little animal.  After that scare we were careful and could bring in lots of curious mall shoppers by keeping him crawling on our arms and shoulders.  Drew’s magic was a hit with Rico and the surrounding kiosk sales people, but not so much with the mall shoppers as he was not comfortable recruiting them to come watch a trick.  Drew did attempt to do a trick where he puts a cell phone in a balloon for a boy waiting on his father and the trick failed to work the first two times.  He did get it to work on a smaller phone, but the trick was ruined.  Drew was a little embarrassed, but was able to shrug it off.

All in all the trip was a success!  I was so proud to see them try something new, conquer their fears, and create a memory that we will share for a lifetime.  We could have passed another day playing video games or hanging around the house.  Instead we had a fun adventure together, got out of our comfort zone, learned it was not the end of the world when a trick did not work, and found we do not want to be a kiosk vendor in the mall.  Find the everyday opportunities to expose your kids to new adventures and experiences where they can stretch their courage, take a safe risk, and create a memory that all will keep for a lifetime.

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The 20 Rules Of This House

Posted on June 26, 2011 by admin

Deuteronomy 6:9 "You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates"

A common theme to the most successful businesses and organizations is the use of Vision, Mission, and Core Values to guide the organization.  In Good to Great Families, I apply these proven business techniques to leading our families.   I also enjoy reading other business and family values, rules, or boundaries that are used to lead and provide boundaries for their business or family.  We have our family Core Values posted on the refrigerator for reference when making choices or using for instruction.  These are great tools to use and leaves no question as to how we are supposed to operate.  I prefer to keep the list to less than 10, but the important point is to create something that works for you and your family.  I don’t know the family that wrote the following list, but I thought I would share it with you. 

In this house…

  1. We obey our Lord Jesus Christ.
  2. We love, honor and pray for one another.
  3. We tell the truth.
  4. We consider one another’s interests ahead of our own.
  5. We speak quietly and respectfully to one another.
  6. We do not hurt one another with unkind words or deeds.
  7. When someone needs correction, we correct him with love.
  8. When someone is sorry, we forgive him.
  9. When someone is sad, we comfort him.
  10. When someone is happy, we rejoice with him.
  11. When we have something nice to share, we share it.
  12. When we have work to do, WE DO IT WITHOUT COMPLAINING.
  13. We take good care of everything that God has given us.
  14. We do not create unnecessary work for others.
  15. When we open something, we close it.
  16. When we turn something on, we turn it off.
  17. When we take something out, we put it up.
  18. When we make a mess, we clean it up.
  19. When we do not know what to do, we ask.
  20. When we go out, we act just as if we were in this house.

What a great tool to have around as a constant reminder and encouragement for our family.  God gave Moses the ten commandments to instruct His people with the promise that if they listen and followed they would be blessed.  He also encouraged families to diligently teach their children and write them on the doorposts of their homes.

Deuteronomy 6:7-9 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.  You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.  You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

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What Makes You Cry? Understanding the Invitation to a Life of Satisfying Purpose

Posted on June 19, 2011 by admin

3 John 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

What are the things that pull at your heart strings and move you emotionally to tears?  Pay attention for these emotions remind us of personal experiences that have deeply impacted our life and/or may reveal God given passions that bring life’s greatest fulfillment or satisfaction.  Each Sunday as I watch men, women, children and families respond to God’s Holy Spirit I am moved with tears of joy knowing that a life has been changed.  Without knowing the people, their circumstances, or story I know I have witnessed God move in a life to reveal His great love, mercy, and calling on their life to realize the miraculous life change coming as a result of responding to Him. 

I am also moved to see someone testify by public baptism to the life change they personally experienced through the blood sacrifice of Jesus.  To see a young man who turns from the selfish path of destruction to accept the Father’s forgiveness and grace is a powerful event.  I celebrate to see a man lead his family to join the church and make a statement to his family and the community that he is choosing to lead his family by the truths of Jesus.  To see a young child respond to the calling of the Holy Spirit or know the joy that a parent shares in seeing their child choose to testify to their saving grace by their public baptism.  Celebrate with me the changed lives and kids testimony through public baptism at our church beach retreat.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEbyVubKZk4

What makes you cry? 

  • Recognize the value of this emotion and how it identifies the passions in your life. 
  • Consider responding and explore the opportunity to develop this passion in your life.   
  • Pray for God to reveal how you can follow this passion to serve Him and help others. 
  • Surrender and follow God.

Mathew 9:9  As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector’s booth. “Follow me,” he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him.

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The Power of A Testimony

Posted on June 15, 2011 by admin

Revelation 12:11 They triumphed over him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony

As believers, moms, dads, professionals, and business people we are challenged to be salt and light in our community.  We shine best in dark places and are ambassadors for Christ in the communities that we live.  Julie and I seek to build our marriage and family on I Peter 2:5 “5 you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house[a] to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”  We are to be living stones, like the stones placed by Joshua to testify to the great things God has done for the Israelites when rescuing the Jews.

Every day we encounter people and circumstances that provide opportunities to participate in the work that God is doing by sharing the great works that God is doing in our lives.  In my business, I often have the opportunity to share the story of how I came to the plastics manufacturing industry.  In 2002 I was in between jobs and earnestly seeking to be obedient to Gods call in my vocation.  I had a number of opportunities that seemed to be a good fit, but for a variety of reasons did not have peace with them.  I decided to join the plastics manufacturing business.  Many of my friends said I was crazy to go into manufacturing and particularly plastics manufacturing.  The opportunity fit exactly the 5 criteria that I was looking for and I had a peace that God would provide.  (5 Criteria: meaningful relationships, control, entrepreneurial, an adventure to live, challenge to conquer)  Recall that Joshua asked the Jews to march around Jericho 7 times saying that God would deliver the city.  I am certain many thought Joshua was crazy, but obedience brings blessings.  We were trying to revive a historic company that had lost it major customer of 30 years and desperately needed to rebuild the business.  We were in the midst of a recession and business was very competitive.  Believing that God would provide for our needs and being obedient to His call what happened next was nothing short of miraculous.  Within 90 days we were flooded with new business from a number of new customers.  We were cranking up the machines and hiring people.  In all my career I have never seen anything like it.  In my sales and business development career it was not uncommon to have a pipeline of several opportunities that could impact the business and if we had 10 opportunities winning 2 or 3 was a home run.  In this situation we collected 10 impactful opportunities and they all fell.  May God be glorified!  I have the opportunity to share this story as part of our regular business conversation routinely.  Testifying to the things God is doing in your life should be a natural part of your conversation and is a powerful encouragement to those that hear.  The power of telling of your personal encounter with God and His blessing on your life is the most natural, genuine, and impactful way to share your faith with others.

Sharing your testimony encourages and inspires others to recognize God’s work in their life and be encouraged by your words.  Seek God daily and pray for Him to make Himself known to you.  I promise you that He will show up and He will do great things in your life that you can share with others and testify to his great truth and love.  Take a moment now to remember and reflect on the great things God has done in your life.  Share these with your friends, family, co-workers and others that you cross paths in your daily activities.  Ask God to make Himself known to you today and do a great work in your life.

Revelation 12:11 tells of the destruction of the dragon, Satan, that was accomplished through the blood of the lamb and the word of their testimony

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Saying Goodbye To A Family Pet

Posted on June 5, 2011 by admin

Mason, Our Pet Rabbit

Friday was a rough day.  I woke up at 3:00 a.m. with my left eye on fire and watering like a fountain.  I made it through the night and was waiting at the Doctors office when they opened.  I had a small piece of fiberglass lodged in my eyelid that worked over my eye during the night.  The Doctor removed it and I was late to work on Friday.  I struggled through the day with lingering pain so that I could attend the funeral of one of our employees of 52 years.  By the time I got home all I wanted to do was close my eyes and go to bed.  It was my wife’s birthday and we planned to take her out for dinner.  I certainly was not much fun at dinner and promptly climbed into bed when we returned home.  Could it possibly get worse?  Sound asleep, I was awoken with crying and distress by the family telling me that Mason, our pet rabbit had died. 

Saturday morning we prepared a proper burial for our pet Mason.  The death of a family pet is a significant event in the life of a child.  In many cases it is the first time they have experienced death and mourning for the loss is a new emotion.  I had to think about what to say and how to use this experience to bring the family together and teach of God’s love for us.  The following are some of my thoughts and our experience in saying goodbye to our beloved pet, Mason.

Things to consider:

  1. Be sensitive – Crying and grieving over the loss is natural and is a natural reaction.  It is OK to be sad.  Some are more affected than others and it is important that we recognize their feelings and emotions.  We can comfort each other and support each other in the loss.  
  2. Talk about the experience – We talked about the good memories that we had with Mason and reminded each other of the stories of Mason as the runt of the litter that was irresitable, swimming in the pool, and playing chase in the yard. 
  3. Have a ceremony – We have lost other pets such as fish or birds that did not get the respectful burial.  Mason was different and burial was the right thing.  Pick a nice spot where you can remember your pet and you may even want to mark the grave in remembrance.  The act of preparing the grave and burial gives us a visible and final event to say goodbye and bring closure to the event.  
  4. Turn our attention to God – Genesis 2:19 tells us that God created all the animals.  God blesses us with good things including our pets that we learn to care for, love and enjoy.  We said a prayer of thanksgiving for Mason and prayed that we would treasure every life given to us, and asked God to comfort us in our loss.

The last word.  It is OK to have two birthday celebrations for your wife.  We will be celebrating my wife’s birthday again with family on Sunday as the chaos subsided and we can enjoy and celebrate the great blessing she is to us.

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When Do You Push Your Kids in Sports, Music, Activities and How Do You Build In The Right Stuff?

Posted on May 30, 2011 by admin

Pitching for the Hooks

Our oldest son is 14 years old and has been playing baseball since he was 5.  He has good physical size and abilities, good coaching, and has been one of the best players in the league.  He will be going to a private High School next year that is known for their baseball program and will have the opportunity to play at a high level, receive excellent coaching and preparation for college or the next level of baseball.  However, he lacks the “fire in the belly” that will be required to compete and succeed at this level.  Do we push him and simply tell him he has worked so hard and is going to play?  Do we let him take a break and try another activity or let him just stay at home?  This situation is all too common for many parents.

The first thing we must recognize is it is not about us.  We must remove our self centered motives from our decisions.  My goal is not to raise a great baseball player so that I can revel in his success, but to raise a great man that follows the truth of Jesus Christ and makes a real difference in the lives of others as he pursues his talents and experiences true joy from living the life that God created him to live.

 Each individual child and each circumstance is unique and there is a no “one size fits all” option that is correct for the development of your child.  Our responsibility as a parent is to build in the right stuff in our kids.  We are to identify character deficiencies that we can seek opportunities to work on with our children.  Academics, sports, scouts, and other of life’s activities and experiences provide a great platform for teaching and coaching these character traits into our kids.  These teaching moments are not observed from a far and delivered with authoritative direction, but should be cultivated through quality time together.  It is our privilege to develop character in our kids and that privilege must be earned by investing time in walking through life’s activities together.  Earlier in our sons athletic career he decided to join the cross country team.  Little did he know that he was not built to run and quickly decided he wanted to quit.  This was a great opportunity to teach him that his best was good enough and he needed to finish what he started. I am proud to report that he did not win any races, but he did his best and was pleased to finish what he started.

 We finished the baseball season and have discussed the bigger picture regarding the investment he has made in the sport and the opportunity that he has before him in High School.  He may need a break to realize his freedom and regain a love for the game.  He could still return another year, but will face competition to join the team.  The character trait in this decision may not be directed at him, but watching how we, his parents, react to his decision, passions and desires.  For our son, in this situation, this will be his decision and we will support him in whatever he chooses to pursue. 

 So as you face choices as a parent regarding your individual child and how to build in the right stuff consider the following. 

  1.  Lift up your children in prayer every day
  2. Remove self centered motives from your role in developing character
  3. Identify character traits that need to be developed and look for the life experiences to train and coach
  4. Spend quality time so that you have earned the privilege to build in the right stuff at the right moment.

If you are reading this blog, I can assume that you are a good parent and trying to do your best.  The only thing that I would add is to not “over think” the situation.  Not every situation needs to be elevated by the parent to develop a character trait as many times the best teachers are natural consequences to choice our kids make.

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Always Speak With Grace

Posted on May 22, 2011 by admin

Colossians 4:6 Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you willl know how you should respond to each person.

Paul challenges us in Colossians 4:6 to “Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt…”.  Much easier said than done.  In most of our interactions, our speech delivers a real time reflection of what is going on in our mind that is strongly influenced by emotions.  James says the tongue can set on fire the course of our life.  Scary!  The work place and the challenges raising three children often puts me in the fire.  It is in these times that speaking with grace requires discipline and it is in these situations that I far too often fail and regret the words that come out.  I have said many things to my boss, my co-workers, and my family that I wish I could reel back in.  The shame and consequences from these poor choices continue to drive me back to Christ who heals and supplies abundant grace.

When Paul refers to speaking with grace as though seasoned with salt, what does he mean?   Salt preserves.  Salt cleans.  Salt enhances the flavor. Salt purifies.  Speaking with grace does not tear another down, but preserves relationships and builds others up.  Speaking with grace softens words and enhances the impact on those we are speaking to.  Speaking in grace does not condemn another or put them on the defensive.  When those you are speaking to are not trying to defend their position or withhold information, truth is revealed.  Paul goes on to say the results of speaking with grace is that we will know how to respond to each person.  When truth is revealed and defenses are down we are in a much better position to know how to respond.

How many times have you walked into a situation that you know an offense has occurred?  Many times I have arrived following a conflict between children leaving one hurt or crying or learn of a situation at work that appears that one employee bears the fault.  Unfortunately for all, I often jump to conclusions early and react in discipline to later learn that I did not know the whole story and may have over reacted or reacted in the wrong way.  There are always two sides to every story.  Every time, when I speak and react in a spirit of grace and show concern for the individuals where I can learn the whole story, I can bring reconciliation or appropriate discipline that builds up my kids or employees.

How do we do this?  Paul answered this in Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth”.  When we set our mind on things above and live in the saving grace provided by Christ, our minds will be saturated with this amazing grace and save us from ourselves.  So let your speech always be with grace.

p.s.  There is so much rich encouragement for believers in Colossians.  Take the time to read Colossians and savor the wise instruction that, when followed, will richly bless others and draw others to Christ.

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Relationships: The Only Thing That Really Matters

Posted on May 15, 2011 by admin

Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."

This weekend Julie and I briefly stepped out of the rat race to realize that we have been married for 17 years and have a child that will be in high school.  It was a typical Saturday in May and we were all at a swim meet from 7:00 a.m. to 12:30, our daughter had gymastics from 12:00-4:00, and Julie and I hoped to catch a 4:40 movie and dinner to celebrate our anniversary.  Racing to get everyone at their places we arrived at the movie at 4:50 thinking we just missed the previews to find that the movie was sold out.  Thanks to the internet and Blackberry we came up plan “B” and raced to another theatre where we caught a 5:30 show and then dinner at one of our favorite places, Goode Company Seafood. 

Reflecting on how fast 17 years have passed and the fact that our children are quickly growing up we talked about the things we most value in our lives.  We live a very full, exciting, and sometimes challenging life.  Julie and I are in agreement that God’s most valuable gift of life is the relationships we share.  Our life is not about the things we collect, but the memories and moments that we share with those we love.  In today’s world in a city the size of Houston Texas the relationships we enjoy are rare.  God blessed us with grandparents that lived into their mid-90’s, lived nearby, and got to know and love our children.  We have parents that live within a mile and we see many time a week.  My sister, husband, and 3 children also live nearby and our combined 6 children all go to the same K-12 school where they see each other every day.  We have a community of friends that we grew up with and find ourselves 30 year later cheering our kids who now play together as we did on baseball, basketball, and soccer teams. 

Celebrating our anniversary was to celebrate the relationships that God has blessed us with and re-dedicating ourselves to treasure these relationships by intentionally creating memories and planning experiences to share life together.  These do not have to be exotic vacations, but simple events.  This past Friday night my son Ben and I went on a 30 minute expedition to discover the prey of 20 vultures flying over and gathering in the field.  Today, my daughter Summer and I went in the woods to pick dew berries together.  This week my oldest son Drew and I shopped for a coat and tie for his 8th grade dance.  These are the moments that we will treasure and these are the experiences that build life’s greatest relationships.  I am so thankful for my wife of 17 years, our children, our extended family, and the many co-workers and friends that God has blessed us with.  My prayer is that you also will recognize that life is fleeting and it is the relationships that God gives us that are to be most treasured.  Celebrate these special people and be intentional to make the most of the small moments and greater planned events together.

Ecclesiastes 9:9  “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.”

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