The Most Important Question You Will Ever Have To Answer As Parents

Posted on April 21, 2012 by admin

 

Deuteronomy 6:7 You shall teach them diligently to your sons..."

This moring I was skimming over Dr. James Dobson’s book Bringing Up Boys that I read many years ago when my boys were little children.  When I read a book I like to star, underline and make comments in the margins of the things I learn and want to take away.  As I turned the pages this morning I read the areas that I had starred or underlined and was again challenged by Dr. Dobson’s comment.  I hope that today you also are challenged and inspired to action by this comment.

“I believe the greatest sense of fulfillment as you prepare to close the final chapter will be in knowing that you lived by a consistent standard of holiness before God and that you invested yourself unselfishly in the lives of your family members and friends.  Most important, knowing that you led your children to the Lord and will be with them in eternity will outrank every other achievement.  All else will fade into insignificance. If that is a true representation of how you feel when your days are growing short, why not determine to live according to that value system now, while you still have the opportunity to influence the impressionable kids who look up to you?  This may be the most important question you as a mother or father will ever be asked to answer!”

I shared breakfast with four men and fathers of 13 year old sons today to discuss how we can take the next year to work together to teach our sons what it means to be a man.  I do not know all of the fathers or their sons and our kids do not all know each other, go to the same school or church.  However,  I am ever grateful to have acquaintences and friends that challenge me to not be complacent, but to take action in seizing these swiftly passing years to make eternal investments in our boys.  If you do not have friends like these then BE one.  If  you have friends like these, you are indeed blessed. 

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How To Act Like Men

Posted on April 15, 2012 by admin

 

I Corinthians 16: 13-14 "Be on alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love."

How many of us have found ourselves telling our boys to toughen up and act like a man?  What does it mean to “act like a man”?  While instructing the church, the apostle Paul gives five divine directives of how God expects the believer to act.

I Corinthians 16:13-14 “Be on alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.  Let all that you do be in love.” 

5 Divine Directives

  1. Be on alert
  2. Stand firm in the faith
  3. Act like men
  4. Be strong
  5. Let all that you do be done in love

This instruction may not be Paul’s effort to describe “How to act like men”, but the four surrounding instructions offer support and characteristics of what Paul expects the church and gives a picture of what it looks like to “act like men”.

Men stay alert to spiritual dangers that can put their faith in jeopardy.  Men stand firm in the faith and diligently support the principles of the faith.  Men are strong defenders of the Truth.   Real men know how to act in love and be a light that reflects God’s love to others.

So men, let this be a reminder to us.  Our faith and our principles are under attack by the world and it is our responsibility to protect ourselves so that we can be the leaders of our families, our church and our communities.

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How To Lead Your Family During Holy Week

Posted on April 1, 2012 by admin

 

John 16:33 “Take courage, I have overcome the world”

Holy week is the week where the Jews celebrate Passover and the Christians celebrate Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter.  In the Jewish calendar the feasts lead up to the celebration of passover where they celebrate the liberation from slavery in Egypt and the “passing over” of the angel of death sparing their homes by the covering of shed blood from a sacrifical lamb.

Many Christians recognize God’s feasts as given to Moses and pointing to God’s plan of salvation.  Christianity claims Jesus as King of the Jews who pronounced Himself as the fulfilment of prophecy at the Feast of Tabernacles prior to His death and ultimate resurrection.  On the 8th day as prescribed in Leviticus 23:36 at the height of the celebration of the Feast of Tabernacles the Jewish leaders were reading the promises of God regading salvation.  Isaiah 12: 3  “Therefore you will joyously draw water from the springs of salvation.”  At this moment of the celebration Jesus announces Himself as this salvation.  John 7:37  If any one is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink.  He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, “From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water”.  This connection was not missed by the Jews and stirred up the controversy as to who Jesus was.

A few months later after raising Lazarus from the dead Jesus is ushered into Jerusalem as King of the Jews riding in on the back of a donkey as foretold in Zechariah 9:9.  Jesus was coming to Jerusalem as the passover lamb.  As is tradition for the Jews on the 10th day of the first month of Nisan, a lamb was taken into the home and kept there for 4 days and inspected to make sure that he had no blemish.  He was then suitable to serve as the passover lamb sacrifice.  So too, Jesus, on exactly the 10th day of Nisan, rode into Jerusalem, God’s home, and for the next four days he was examined and questioned by the priests to see if they could trip him up.  Pilate made the declaration that he could find “no fault” in Him.  To satisfy the religious leaders, he washed his hands of “personal responsibility” and delivered Jesus up to be crucified.  This pure, sinless Lamb of God was then led to be crucified, and died at the exact time that the passover lamb was being sacrificed in the Temple.

His entry into Jerusalem was a detailed picture of the lamb being brought into the home for examination.  Because He had raised Lazarus from the dead the week before, the crowds were claiming Him to be Messiah as He rode into the city on a donkey.  They cut down branches from the brooks and ravines and laid them down at His feet, shouting out “Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.  Hosanna” (Which means, save us now) This was the greeting for the Messiah.

Now celebrated by Christians as Palm Sunday, Jesus is proclaimed as King of Israel and foretells of his death and resurrection. (see John 12:24)  As commanded by God in Leviticus 23:41 we should perpetually celebrate for generations.  As Christians, we share in this rich lineage and teach our children of God’s provision for His people.  Giving the background and making the connection for our children to God’s feasts and Jesus’ fulfillment of God’s promise on Palm Sunday sets the grand stage for the week to come.

Maundy Thursday is the day Jesus shared the passover meal celebrating liberation from bondage and the last supper with the disciples where He washed their feet, identifies the one who will betray Him, commands the disciples to love one another, institutes the breaking of the bread and drinkng of wine to symbolize his body and blood, reveals what is to come to the disciples, tells of the Holy Spirit and His return.  John 17:33 records Jesus saying “In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world”  There are many things we can do to celebrate and teach our children about the last supper by the types of food we eat, washing the feet of our guests, and the sharing of the bread and wine to remember the broken body and blood.  Do a search on the passover meal or Seder meal to find out more about the meal.

Good Friday was the day of preparation for the passover celebration and is a solemn day where we remember the trial, beating, and crucifixion, death and burial of Jesus who took the penalty of sin of the world on Himself, as God’s own sacrifical lamb.   Many Christians attend a Good Friday worship service to remember.  Watching portions of the Passion of the Christ brings the reality of his suffering home.

Easter Celebration – He is Risen!  Celebrated by Christians as the greatest event in the history of the world where death was overcome.   This fulfillment of God’s perfect plan provides redemption for all who believe.  Romans 10:9  “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead you shall be saved.”

Each day through the passion week take a moment to read the scriptures account, remember the events, and make this week a true celebration for the greatest act of love that redeems us for all eternity.  He is risen!

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Be A Courageous Mom or Dad

Posted on March 20, 2012 by admin

 

Last week was spring break for our kids and Julie and I took them to Keystone Colorado for a few days skiing.  I have never seen Colorado with less snow during spring break.  Under the lifts were rocks and dirt, but the runs had plenty of snow.  There were no lift lines and it was sunny and 50 degrees.  What a privilege it is to build life experiences and memories with your family.  On the way home I watched the movie Courageous and wish to share the message from the movie.  In the movie there are 4 father characters that play out their various challenges in life and join together to pledge a resolution to be better fathers.  Not far off from the vision, mission and core values that I have outlined in my book to be a one page guide and statement of family beliefs.  I commend the producers of Courageous for putting this inspiring and challenging video out to America and the world.  If you don’t have the time to watch the movie take the 3 minutes to watch this final Father’s Day speech by one of the characters.  The Movie Courageous Father’s Day

Joshua 1:9  “Have I not commanded you?  Be strong and Courageous!  Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”

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Stessed Out? Where Do You Put Your Trust?

Posted on February 26, 2012 by admin

 

When Life Gets Out of Control

Do you have “stress” in your life?  This seems to be a topic that comes up every day and impacts all of us as moms, dads, workers and leaders in our professions.  The most common areas where we experience stress are health, finances, relationships, and our job.  Maybe you have received a recent diagnosis that is unsettling and may even put your life in jeopardy.  Maybe you find yourself every month with more month than money and don’t see a way out.  We put great value in our relationships with our spouse, children, family, friends, and co-workers.  We often find ourselves in conflict with these relationships that leave us empty, bitter, angry, hurt and stressed.  Our jobs and careers often put demands on us that conflict with our priorities, the work can be too much, or we find ourselves being passed over or in a circumstance where our career is not going where we hoped.  These are  a few examples of the stress we all face.  Some are great and some are small, but all of us work to manage these areas. 

We all like to be in control of all the areas of our life.  Unfortunately, despite all our efforts, circumstances change to a point that cause discomfort or anxiety and we feel a tension that we call stress.  A tension between what we desire and where we are.  A tension between what we expect and what is reality.  Stress is defined in the dictionary as:  Stress noun.  a physical, chemical, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension and may be a factor in disease causation 

When I find that I am being overwhelmed by stress it is because I am trying to manage the stress on my own when many of the circumstances are outside of my control.  We tend to put our trust in our own ability to manage all the areas of our life.  I have found myself in a pattern that goes from managed stress and trust in self to unmanageable stress, surrender and trust in God.  This pattern tends to be repeated as circumstances come back into control.    I am always happy to take back the control when my circumstances pass.  Why would I rather trust in self than in God?  Why do I have more confidence when I am in control than putting my confidence and trust in God?  Isaiah encourages us  that we serve a BIG God in Isaiah 40:12-14 “Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, and marked off the heavens by the span, and calculated the dust of the earth by the measure, and weighted the mountains in a balance and the hills in a pair of scales?  Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or as His counselor has informed Him?  With whom did He consult and who gave Him understanding?  And who taught Him in the path of justice and taught Him knowledge and informed Him of the way of understanding?  Am I crazy? Why would I not want to always trust Him with all areas of my life?  Do your problems seem too big?  Why would you not give them over to Him?  God has given us His word as the instruction and authority as to how we are to live our lives.  II Timothy 3:16 – 17 “All scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.”  God’s word  “equips us” and tells us what to do.  He promises us that if we seek Him that we will find Him.  If we obey His word as the instruction and authority to how we are to live our lives I believe we will be much better off than following our desires and intuition. 

When life gives you more than you can handle remember we serve a BIG God, He has given us His word as the instruction and authority to follow and He loves you.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

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When In Doubt, GO…Always Put Commitment Over Convenience

Posted on February 20, 2012 by admin

 

Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted"

Funerals are never convenient especially when they require driving 9 hours in the rain to attend.  Last weekend was the funeral of my brother in-law’s mother.  It was on a Saturday afternoon 4 1/2 hours drive away.  We had gymnastics practice, a boy scout camp out, homework and errands and flash flood warning that gave many excuses to stay home.  I have to admit that was also the last way I wanted to spend my weekend. 

However it is these events that bring families together and these events where the act of showing up sends a message of love and commitment to your family that are forever remembered.  When my wife  Julie’s father passed away my mother, father, sister, husband and 3 kids made the 3 hour trek to San Antonio.  What a statement that made to Julie’s mother and the rest of our family that we are here to support you.  We were given an out to not show up knowing that it was inconvenient.  As we contemplated our decision, Julie’ mother made a great comment.  You will never regret going, but you may regret not going.  When in doubt go.  If I have any regrets it is that I every thought twice about going.  The opportunity to be there for a couple hours and be forever in the moment and memory of the service and time of mourning with family is where we want to be.  Fortunately, we also have family support in Houston.  My parents shuttled the kids to their activities, I got to spend 9 hours alone with Julie, and we were blessed by family, testimony, music and love.  When in doubt, GO!  You will never regret going.

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Peace Be With You For I Have Overcome the World – Jesus

Posted on February 11, 2012 by admin

John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." - Jesus

We all have bad days, bad weeks, and sometimes bad years.  We learn from our mistakes and we learn to persevere and to endure the hardships that we experience in this world.  Professionals, business people, clergy, moms and dads, we all find ourselves from time to time reflecting on the challenges we face and wonder if it will ever get better.

We are only just beginning February of 2012 and I find myself in this spot.  On January 9th my business was flooded and has dislodged us from our offices and disrupted our routines.  The additional load to make the repairs along with travel commitments and projects have demanded long hours and most weekends.  The future uncertainty that is part of my business challenges me emotionally and spiritually.  I am struggling physically with injuries that have prevented me from running which has been my “fix” for managing anxiety and stress for decades.  I read a Newsweek article today that put my troubles in perspective and highlighted a sharp rise of killing Christians because of their faith by over 300% since 2003.

Jesus says “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you have tribulation, but take courage;  I have overcome the world.”  Jesus is speaking plainly of his death and resurrection and the trials to come for his disciples.  The disciples faced the same trials that we fear.  Loss, security, the future, emotional and spiritual challenges, and even the prospects of life and death.  Jesus comforts them and us in acknowledging that we will all experience tribulations, but TAKE COURAGE for I HAVE OVERCOME THE WORLD.  An encouraging word that we can all take to heart.  Take courage.  We have the Holy Spirit as our comforter and He cares for us and has overcome the world.  “Has overcome” – Past tense.  He did not say that He “WILL” overcome the world, but “HAS” overcome.  Jesus goes on in John 17 to pray for his disciples that they will be one and that the love God had for Him may be in them.  By this “the world may know that you sent Me, and love them, even as You have loved Me.”

So my friends, Take Courage, surrender your anxieties to Jesus, and accept the peace that He provides.  By this our lives will testify of God’s love “so that the world may know” God’s love.

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”

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Two Simple Steps To Help You Become the Spiritual Leader In Your Home

Posted on February 4, 2012 by admin

 There are many books, articles, and blogs providing direction on how to become a spiritual leader in your home.  These writings come at this topic from many perspectives and make it evident that the all the efforts to be obedient to God and to emulate His character and the instruction provided to us through His word are valid efforts to becoming a more effective spiritual leader in our home, church and community.  For this blog, I am sharing my experience and one simple tool that I have used to help me in leading my family and believe can help you.

Two men shared with me in the last week that they really want to be the spiritual leader in their family, but don’t know what that looks like or how to move forward.  In both conversations these men had strong wives that had assumed a big role in leading their family and the men were struggling to discover what their role should be, what actions can they take, and how they can compliment the work of their wives.  Recognizing that there are innumerable situations and actions we can discuss, I am offering two simple solutions to start with in your journey to determine what it means for you to lead in your family.

Know where you are going and what you believe.  To this effort I contend that you must have a vision or picture of what success looks like to you and must have nailed down your core beliefs and values to guide you and your family.  Write them down.  Describe the characteristics that you wish to develop and what that will look like in your family.  Write down what you believe regarding the primary relationships we share in life. (God, ourselves – physical, spiritual, and mental, relationship to other people, and material things)  These are the non-negotiable truths and boundaries that you can use to guide decisions for you and your family.  When written down these become a standard or template for making good choices in your day to day life.  How do I regard the authority of Gods word and how does that impact my day to day decisions? What activities do I pursue? What movies do I watch?  Who do I keep as friends?  In my book and other articles on this blog I go into detail of how to develop a vision, mission and core values for your family and encourage you to read these.  Read Deuteronomy 6: 1-9

Put it into practice – Simply put, as the leader of your family, the greatest action you can take is to live these out in front of your family.  Pursue the path toward your vision by making choices in your daily life that follows your core beliefs.  This is the greatest single thing you can do to be an effective leader in your family.  Read Matthew 22: 34 – 40

I visited with one of the two men referred to at the beginning of this article yesterday and was encouraged to share in his excitement to know a couple simple actions he can take to start the journey to being the spiritual leader in his home.  Know where you are going, know what you believe, write it down and put it on your refrigerator for all to see, and put it into practice in your life.  As with Jesus’ instruction that loving God and loving others are the two great commandments and on these two commandments depend the whole law.  Follow these two suggestions and the rest of the characteristics of being a spiritual leader will follow.

 

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Encouragement From Mario Kart

Posted on January 15, 2012 by admin

Psalm 34:4 "I sought the Lord, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears"

Yesterday my son showed me how he could compete with people all around the world in a video game.  The game was Mario Kart where each person controls a Kart and races 3 laps around the course.  If you hit “item boxes” that look like spinning boxes along the course you get weapons that you can use to slow down your opponents.  You can be delayed if you go off the course or crash allowing others to pass.  There are no fatal crashes, so if you go off course or crash you may lose your position, but you can complete the course.  During yesterday’s game he played against people from Europe and Japan.  They are ranked by their previous scores and my son was ranked #2 going into the race.  As I watched the race he was winning, but went off the course and went from first to third and then crashed and went from third to fifth.  Each time he jumped back on the course, used the weapons that he gained, and was able to gain ground and finish second.

What impressed me was that in life we also get knocked down, crash and get behind.  If we get back in the race, use all our resources and stay on course we can finish well.  This last week our manufacturing plant was flooded when a drainage pipe collapsed and brought 6″ of water into our warehouse, factory and offices.  I have such high expectations for 2012 and found myself at a low point last week seeing the challenges to regroup and get back on course, take care of all of our customer’s demands and expectations.  As we cleaned up each day was a little better than the last and with much effort from my entire team we were able to be back into full production.  Some of the cleanup will be a distraction and take several weeks, but we are back on course and I continue to have high hopes for a successful 2012.  Amazing how God can communicate and encourage us through the strangest ways if we sit still long enough and are open to hear His voice.  This week I was encouraged by the video Game Mario Kart as I saw the Kart go off course, crash and fall behind only to see with patience and persistence the ground lost was regained to finish the race in the top 2 positions.

It is my prayer that this week you will discover encouragement and hope to stay on course during trials that we all face.  God communicates to us in many ways.  It may not come in the way you expect, but if you seek Him you will find Him and He will deliver you from your fears.

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God Chooses Our Families

Posted on January 8, 2012 by admin

I Corinthians 13:4-7

We choose our friends and we choose our mates, but we do not choose our family.  Many may wish they could choose their family, but God has reserved this choice for himself alone.  When it comes to moms and dads leading their family it is important to recognize the significance of the responsibility we have been given.  We have been chosen by God Himself to provide, nurture, discipline, care for, train and encourage these children.  God has given us all the responsibilities and privileges of developing and leading these children to grow up young men and women.  Considering this, we have an awesome responsibility that deserves consideration as special relationships given to us in God’s providence.  We have included this relationship as one of our families Core Values.

“God chose us to be a family and has given each of us to the other and we are to give special priority to one another.  We will respect the interests and will generously love and support each member of our family.” 

 We expect our kids to recognize this special relationship and give priority to each other.  This means we give a higher respect and place the needs of each other as a greater priority than the needs of our friends or community.  We do this by recognizing and supporting the various interests of each other.  I have three children presently 10, 13, and 14 years old.  They are all very different and have grown up supporting each others varied interests.  My middle son just loves to wander in the woods and the whole family recogizes his need to have us enjoy this with him.  There are many times that we will do what he wants to do that certainly would not be the first choice for the rest.  We may go for a hike in the back woods or drive out to local bird sanctuary.  Once there we all see him come alive with energy and enthusiasm as he bounds through the woods pointing out the sites, insects and animals.

We will generously love and support each other though the good times and the challenging times.  We look to the apostle Paul’s letter to the Corinthian church to guide our definition of love.  Love is patient, love is kind and not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the trugh;  bears all things, believes all things, hops all things, endures all things.  Love never fails.  Admittedly, we do not always live up to this standard, but it clearly describes what love looks like and gives us a pretty high goal to shoot for.  Whether it be baseball tournaments, school productions, gymastic meets, household chores, or just serving each other we seek to love, support and keep the others interests and concerns in our forethought.

If you have not written down your Core Values or Core Beliefs for your family, consider the special relationship and awesome responsibility that God has chosen for you.

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